‘He was trying to intimidate me into doing it’: Arrogant coworker tries to order employee to work for free on an external ‘side project’ because he doesn't have the budget for an expert opinion, employee adamantly refuses

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  • 800 "I just sat there blinking."
  • "Colleague doubles down when I refuse to work for free on his side project"

    My colleague has clearly loved a charmed life. Perhaps no one has ever said no to him, which is why me saying no appears to have shellshocked the poor love.
  • At a recent meeting he gave me scant details of a "project" I was required to do. While we are on the same level and we are
  • supposed to collaborate on projects using our specific skill sets he still treats me as an underling there to be used so it's not uncommon for him to tell rather than ask.
  • Confused about the vagueness of said project I asked for more details. He don't have many given it turns out this project is for an external setup he has going with
  • external people, and none of these people have any idea of what the project requires as it's not their area of expertise. However, it is mine.
  • I ask why he's asking (demanding) me to do this and why his other team doesn't arrange this work and he says no one knows how to do it and don't have a budget to outsource the work to an expert.
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  • I then say, so this is a favour you're asking then? Rage flashes in his eyes and he starts with the condescension. "Not really a big ask to do a few bits and pieces that reflect well on us. But if it's TOO HARD for you..."
  • I just sat there blinking. I searched for a trace of embarrassment/realisation/somet hing in his eyes but they were ice cold. He was trying to intimidate me into doing it.
  • Needless to say, they're going to have to fork out quite a lot for this work as this "not a big ask" (I'd estimate it being about a full two week's worth for two experts if not more) isn't happening otherwise.
  • It's laughable really. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had this. It's the doubling down that really gets me. Story times, Redditors...?
  • rabididealist P.S. It's actually got me thinking I SHOULD set up a consultancy so I can leave situations like these in the past and outright reject people if they take a tone with me. I'm pretty fed up and my salary is way below what it should be anyway. Maybe time to branch out on my own.
  • nc781 Tell him you don't feel comfortable working for free on a project that is not related to your actual work, but if you set a fee, you will be happy to help.
  • Ohberon Good for standing up for yourself. Now report him to your boss or HR for trying to get you to do work on an external project, while they paid for it.
  • Far-Artichoke 5849 I'd take that to HR, he's not your boss, he doesn't get to dictate sh to you. And if he's trying to get you to do external work on the company dime by making you think it's work project that's a big no no
  • SilverSister22 "No, it's not too hard for me. It's also not my job and I don't do favors for outside projects. We can discuss my rates if you would like."
  • JELPPY1010 Good for you standing your ground, OP. What an arrogant entitled a---hole of a colleague to treat you in such an unprofessional manner.
  • One thing I would be on the lookout for is any "blow back" from your confronting him. Since you mentioned he is the bosses "golden boy" (wondering what that involves, but I digress) there may be subtle retaliation, leaving you out of office meetings, gatherings, conversations and/or trying to make you look bad.

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